There's a party in my pants and you're invited!


A few weeks ago I was invited to an Ann Summers party by a very hospitable friend of ours. You know the sort. Your friend 'hosts' a party, invites as many of her friends, colleagues, neighbours, Mums from school as possible and a spokesperson with a helpful, if slightly strange QVC sales person voice from the company, comes in to tempt you to buy and sign up for your own party.

I have never hosted such a party. I imagine the drop out rate on the evening of the party to be terrible. 30 invited on Facebook and 8 turn up. I couldn't bear it.

I've had invites to Pampered Chef, the latest must have beauty range, Jamie Oliver, Phonenix cards, some fancy chocolate brand  to name a few. But this was my first Ann Summers experience.

Ok so I am not totally naive, I've been in the Bristol store a couple of times, but never once ventured in the back. I am, quite simply, boring!

I was given a copy of the must read book for my Birthday. You know the one, Fifty Shades of Grey. Everyone who has read tells me the writing is poor and not to bother and before I had managed to thumb the opening page my Sister borrowed it from me! I can't say I care for all the smut. The eggs, the balls and the goodness knows what else!

Fortunately, the first part of the party was the lingerie. Some of it was rather lovely. I was particularly taken with a sailor outfit but where on earth would I wear it! See I told you - boring!

I loved this article which detailed the results of a survey of 1600 British women and their lingerie habits. 58% dread getting crotchless knickers, 44% edible pants. Both of which feature in the Christmas Ann Summers brochure. One in five said they have never worn the lingerie set they were given by their partner. I wonder why?! Who does your partner buy for you or him?

But as is always the case at these sort of parties, you feel obliged to buy something. I know people who make sure they only have a certain amount of cash on them so they can't spend any more, even if they feel wracked with guilt that the hostess may not get her £10 freebie.

It's not that I don't enjoy these sorts of parties, I do. A chance to catch up with your friends have a glass of wine and nibbles, sounds like a perfect evening. But it is the pressure to buy that cripples me! Plus the thought of discussing the intimate details of your huh hmm private alone time with your friend's neighbour got me running for the hills! At least I gave everyone a good laugh when I exclaimed in shock "what are you meant to do with that?!"

So want to know what I bought?! I am not quite sure who I bought them for, me or my husband, but at £10 they were my obligatory purchase!

I tried to get a photo of me modelling them without exposing myself but there was no way. I had a bottom bigger than a baboon!

So here's a cheeky monkey for you!

Have you been to one of these parties? What did you buy?!

LifeLucy HeathComment